there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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