He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Vodka?
Forever.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
