I forgot how hot balto sounded
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
