Will you blow on my dice?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
