so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
