New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
