Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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