please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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