I heard we made out
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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