So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
