wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
