1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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