I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
