Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
