am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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