nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
