You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
