week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
