Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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