Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
