id be glad to
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
