sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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