there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
