I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
