he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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