Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i drank out of a bidet.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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