yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
