so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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