the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize