My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
