You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
