So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
