so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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