Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
