I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
