im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
