I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
