It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
