well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
