Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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