well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
