Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
