I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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