We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Your cock deserves a montage
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
