i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
