Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
