I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
