Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
