Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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