mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
nutella sex= disaster
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
