So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
