If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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