$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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