Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
