I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
