i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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