she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I don't deserve a penis
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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