I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
