Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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