talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize