I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
