I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
