508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
